No More Apologies

I am an authentically creative person.
Just ask my friends.
I see, express, and think differently than most others around me.

My 9-5 world is all business and serious.
Just ask my colleagues.
We work to create business solutions despite the obstacles of a repressive culture.

I spend my day balancing between these two selves.
If I lean too far right, I suffocate and become cynical.
If I lean too far left, my work is not understood.

I live to create.
I can create business solutions or I can create story images.
But I must create.

Sometimes I am apologetic for my creative self.
Sometimes I feel failure in not having become all serious, grown-up, and business-like.

This must stop.

This is the 9-5 dogma.
This is not my authentic self.

My creativity is my key to my success.
My creativity allows me to solve problems that others can’t.
When I am creative my spirit soars, when I am not my spirit plummets.

Creativity is the conjunction of the words create and activity.
The opposite of create is to destroy.
Does this mean that the opposite of creativity is destructivity?

Yes, I must be serious about my creativity.
It is life-or-death for my soul.

There are no more apologies.
There is only one self.

Create: produce, generate, build, construct, shape, form, forge, result in, cause, produce, foster, sow the seeds of, contribute to, establish, found, initiate, institute, constitute, inaugurate, launch, set up, form, organize, develop.

Creativity: inventiveness, imagination, innovation, innovativeness, originality, individuality; artistry, inspiration, vision; enterprise, initiative, resourcefulness.

Serious: solemn, earnest, grave, somber, sober, unsmiling, poker-faced, stern, grim, dour, humorless, stony-faced; thoughtful, preoccupied, pensive.

Destroy: wreck, ruin, spoil, disrupt, undo, upset, put an end to, put a stop to, terminate, frustrate, blight, crush, quash, dash, scotch; devastate, demolish, scuttle, sabotage.

Destructive: devastating, ruinous, disastrous, catastrophic, calamitous, cataclysmic; harmful, damaging, detrimental, deleterious, injurious, crippling; violent, savage, fierce, brutal, deadly, lethal.

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One Comment to “No More Apologies”

  1. Nancy, I understand completely. Actively working to blot out the negatives is a critical part of growing at this point. I started out as a collateral duty intelligence photographer many years ago in the Navy. I can still hear the shrieks of the instructors “YOU ARE NOT AN ARTISTE! NO INTERPRETATION ALLOWED!” It still interferes with my ability to hear my inner artist’s voice as I unthinkingly focus on frankly less important technical details that aren’t serving the artistic vision. I admire you for taking an active role in getting out of that situation through positive efforts.

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